I know it's normal to be scared and nervous, but what they don't warn you about are the crazy little trips your mind takes at a moment like this. I was sitting and brushing my hair. It didn't need to be brushed, but I had to do something besides climb out the window and make a run for it.
I mean, what if he leaves? Or forgets? It's possible, isn't it? What if he suddenly realizes it was all a mistake and was standing by the side of the road trying to flag a car down to escape?
This is it, the end of innocence, the beginning of something very scary and very...more scary. That's not right and I know it, but gosh, give a girl a break. It's not like I've done this before. Until five years ago, I didn't even have a stable family life. It's been a real growing and learning experience for me.
There was a soft tap to the door and Lisle came in.
"How are you holding up, my sweet girl?" I couldn't help it; I was in her arms before the last word was out of her mouth. She chuckled and stroked my hair with one hand. "Are you scared?"
"A little."
"That's normal, but you have nothing to worry about. This is all very natural. You are strong and smart and you will find your way easily."
"Were you scared?"
She laughed out loud and shook her head. "No, but I should have been. I had too much Kuryakin bravado for that, though. I was still too busy trying to prove to my father I deserved his respect at that point. And Leon seemed like this soft, cuddly teddy bear, all fluff and padding. I forgot that looks were deceiving and he was indeed very capable and deserving of his title with UNCLE. You have nothing to worry about."
"What if he doesn't like me?"
"He proposed to you. I think he probably likes you just fine."
"I mean... in that way." We'd petted up to this point, but we hadn't actually done anything.
"He's a man; he'll like it just fine. The fact that he's waited and respected your wishes should tell you just how much he loves you." She brushed a strand of hair from my face and smiled.
"What if I don't... like it?"
"Well, it's possible, but..."
Then the door opened just then and Irina came in, all white lace and pink satin ribbons. She stopped and gasped. "You look like a fairy princess!"
Encouraged, I left Lisle's arms and swirled about for her, fabric billowing and rippling. She sighed happily. "You are so beautiful."
"So are you." I bent over to adjust one of her bows. "Do you like your dress?"
"Thank you for making it pink." She looked down, a little embarrassed by the admission. Even as an old lady of eight, pink was still her favorite color. She buried herself in my skirt, the satin and lace almost hiding her from view, then she pulled away a little to exam one of the many seed pearls. "Are these real pearls? Or are they baby pearls"
"They are." I reached over to pick up a small package and handed it to her. "Here's something special for you to wear."
"More than this dress?" She swirled again and laughed. Carefully, so as to not wrinkle the fabric, she sat down on the hope chest in her parent's room and undid the tissue paper, gasping when she lifted out the necklace of slightly larger pearls.
"Genève, these are beautiful."
"I'm glad you like them. Ready to try them on?" It had taken me forever to finally pick the right necklace and Lisle knew it. I just wanted it to be perfect. Irina had brought me into this family, had been the first to reach out a hand to me in friendship, and I never wanted her to forget how grateful I was for that.
The necklace settled on her neck as if it was meant to be. "How do I look, Mommy?"
"Almost as pretty as the bride herself."
There was that funny feeling again and then suddenly my eyes widened. What if I was... oh, no.
Lisle must have seen something in my face. "Irina, why don't you go out and show those to your Grampy? I know he'd love to see them."
"Okay." And she was gone.
"Genève, what's wrong?"
"What if I'm... you know, pregnant?"
She laughed again and cupped my cheek. "Unless Alex has taken up carpentry in the last couple of months and you've been visited by an over-aggressive dove, I think you are safe. It's just nerves."
"Do you think he's nervous too?"
"Probably not much as when he asked your father and grandfathers for your hand, but I'm guessing he's a little anxious as well."
"But what if I pass out?" I looked over at my boss, the very formidable Illya Kuryakin. He looked very sharp in his morning jacket and I wondered if he was packing. Probably, he never left anything to chance.
"I shall kick you until you revive. If that doesn't work, then I shall shoot you in an unimportant body part."
"You're joking... aren't you, sir?"
"Am I?"
"He is joking, Alex." The big boss slapped Mr. Kuryakin on his shoulder and left his hand there. Mr. Kuryakin glared at him, but I saw one corner of his mouth creep up. "One thing you have got to learn about this family is that we do have a sense of humor." He pulled his hand away to punch Mr. Kuryakin gently in the shoulder. "Especially this one when you know what to look for."
"Yes, sir."
"And your final lesson today, young Alex." Illya turned from the mirror and walked up to me. "At home, we are Illya and Napoleon, not sir, Mr. Kuryakin, or Mr. Solo." He touched his chest. "I am Illya."
"Yes, s.... Illya." I stumbled over the name. And I thought asking for Genève's hand had been tough. It was nothing compared to becoming part of this family. I smiled, remembering that moment of terror. Man, that seems like mere seconds ago...
"Alex, why don't you come in and have some coffee," Genève said. She always invited me in for coffee after a date. I could count on that the way I could count on the sun coming up in the morning. Tonight, however, everything was going to change, one way or the other. Only she didn't know it yet.
"Okay, that will be fine." She was delighted and I had to admit I was a bit curious. I'd never been inside the Solo house before, although I knew the outside of it and the grounds surrounding it better than my own bedroom. I'd been Mr. Solo's personal bodyguard for eight years now, but my job always stopped at the threshold. Tonight the battleground was shifting, in my favor, I hoped.
I let her take me by the hand and lead me in. We'd been seriously dating now for about two years and I'd been with the family on a few social events, although I was still technically watching out for Mr. Solo.
Immediately, Chewy came running up to me, his tail wagging so hard, he looked like he was trying to beat himself to death with it. I knew him from seeing the kids play with him and hearing Gen talk about him.
"Alex, this is Chewy." She acted as if this was all new for me, but I played along.
"Hey, Chewy." On an impulse I knelt down and held out my hand. Instantly, the dog sat and held up a front paw. Laughing, I shook it and was rewarded with a big sloppy kiss. Ugh, dog breath...
"Enough, Chewy. Alex, let's go into the living room." Again, she took my hand and led the way. We passed a wall full of photographs; bunches of the grandchildren, some of the parents and a few of the older guys, my bosses. There were several with Genève, and I touched one. It was a shot of her reading to Irina, her pale hair partially obscuring her face. It gave her a fairy like quality. "What's wrong?"
"You are so beautiful," I whispered, without meaning to. That garnered me a kiss and then a chorus of "Ewwww!" I looked around startled. Alex and Irina were standing there.
"Hey, Alex, my man!" I released Gen and offered him my hand. He shook it somberly and then gave it a tug. I leaned close. "What's wrong?"
"You shouldn't kiss girls. Grampy says it leads men down the garden path," he whispered back. "I don't think any garden is interesting enough to kiss girls for."
"Thanks." I nodded somberly and hid my smile. "And how are you this evening, Miss Irina?"
"Terrible, truly terrible. I have to go to bed now and I shall never find out if Prince Charming wakes up the Princess and if they will live happily ever after."
"I'll let you in on a secret. They do."
"You promise?" She had Mr, Kuryakin's intense blue eyes and Mr. Solo's dark hair. She was going to make some boy crazy some day.
"I do."
"Pinky promise?" She held out her little finger to me and I hooked it with mine.
"Absolutely positively happy ever after. All princesses live happily ever after." I winked at Gen, who giggled.
"Why don't you go in and I'll show these two the way to bed so they don't get lost." She cupped a hand around each head. Even though she'd been formally adopted into the family, she still saw the kids as her charges.
Okay, major panic set in. "Ah, Gen, sweetie, I don't think..."
"You big goof ball, it's just Grampy and Poppy... you know them." She was being dragged away from me and I felt the giant crawdad of I'm Gonna Get my Ass Kicked looming over me. "And the rest of them..." And she was gone, leaving me to my fate.
Oh, God, take me now. But such was my love for this woman, I marched into the lion's den.
What I was expecting and what I got were two very different things. Everything was so... casual. The Big Boss, Mr. Solo, was sitting with his feet propped up on a stuffed hippopotamus with his arms around the twins and they were taking turns reading to him. Mr. Kuryakin was sitting at the piano with Ginny, the youngest of the Solo children, on his lap and they were plunking some song. Mr. Kuryakin was helping her fingers find the right keys. She was giggling and he had a huge grin on his face. A man who singlehanded terrorized all of Section Three and most of Section Two and he was taking sheer delight in playing Chopsticks with a two year old.
Lisle and Leon was tossing toys into a plastic laundry basket each with the precision of an NBA player. They were laughing and trying to block the other's shot. Leon lobbed a teddy bear into the basket and that's when he saw me. He cleared his throat and they all looked at him... and then at me, actually, and I smiled hesitantly.
"Gen invited me in," I half stammered, prepared to take a step backwards if any one of them made a threatening move.
"Look who's come to visit." Leon, pal that he is, walked up to me and gave me a shove further into the room.
"I think it's time for you two to head up to bed. Say goodnight." Mr. Solo closed the book and handed it to Inessa. Peter, her twin, was happily munching away on an apple. As he approached me, he stuck out his hand and mumbled something.
"Peter, don't talk with your mouth full," Lisle said and I hid my grin as the boy spit his mouthful out in the other hand and tried again. "Peter!"
"What? First you tell me not to and when I do --!"
"Face it, little brother, you are a cretin." Inessa walked past me, her chin high. "Good evening, you are looking in good health." The book she carried had a cover which read, Incendiary Devices of the 1800's. Did they even have those back then?
"I'm only two minutes younger than you," Peter grumbled returning the mouthful to its rightful place and wiped his hand on his pants.
"Physically, perhaps, but mentally the gap is much wider."
These two are only six, give me a break! My college professor didn't talk like that. As they walked from the room, they switched to another language, Russian, I think, and continued the argument.
Mr. Kuryakin set Ginny down and she made a bee line for me, wrapping her arms around my legs. "Love you."
"Hmm, she does seem to have many of her namesake's traits," Lisle said, scooping up the child and winking at me. "You are going to get into trouble with that attitude, my sweet." She blew a raspberry on Ginny's stomach and the child giggled wildly. Lisle followed the twins out of the room.
Suddenly there I was alone with three of the most dangerous men I'd ever known...
"Alex, are you all right?" Mr. Kuryakin's... sorry, Illya's voice knocked me out of my daydream. I jumped just a little.
"Oh, just remembering something that happened a lifetime ago." I managed a brave smile. Why did I feel as if I was about to face a firing squad?
"Look at it this way, son." Mr. Solo adjusted my boutonniere. "Just remember to say 'I do' at the right moment and soon you will be dancing and romancing with your new wife."
I really didn't mean to throw up just then.
"But he's here?" I was babbling and wasn't exactly sure why. Alex would never leave me at the altar, unlike my own absentee father did to my mother or at least that's the story I've told myself over the years. Chances are she didn't even know who it was.
"He's dressing and both of your grandfathers are with him. I don't think Alex is the bolting kind."
"I know I'm being stupid, Mom, but could you check? Just to be sure?"
She smiled and cupped my cheek. "Of course, but we need to leave for the church in a few minutes."
"I'll be ready."
She had barely walked out the door when my other Alex, my brother, came bursting into the bedroom. "Gen, it was great!"
"What was?"
"Alex just puked all over Grampy."
In spite of my nerves, or maybe because of them, I started laughing, really laughing, then it became sort of hysterical and the tears started.
Alex's eyes got really big and he ran out of the room. A minute later, he was back with Poppy, half dragging him, half pushing him into the room. The second Poppy crossed the threshold, Alex vanished. My brave, brave little brother...
"Alex says you're melting down." Poppy walked over to me and led me to the bed by the hand. We sat and he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and gently dabbed at my cheeks. "I would say his evaluation of the situation is just."
"Did Alex really...?" I made an appropriate gesture.
"He did."
"Oh, poor Alex..." I sniffled. "Poor Grampy..."
"It's fine. The one thing your grandfather has is a multitude of tuxes and abundance of fortitude." He held my chin and continued to dab. "Besides, he was also once a nervous bridegroom and has some empathy. Of the two of us, he was the better choice to garner sympathy."
"Poppy, why didn't you ever marry?"
He smiled and began refolding the handkerchief. "Never stopped long enough when I was a young man. When as I got older, there just didn't seem reason enough."
"And you have Grampy."
"And between you and me, he's more than enough to fill any void." He patted his pocket. "There is an old saying for a time like this, although its logic eludes me, as do so many American customs." He pulled out a small box and set it upon the bed. From a different pocket, he pulled out something else.
"Something old." He held up the St. Christopher medal that he always wore. "And borrowed. This was my grandmother's grandmother's and I will want it back after the ceremony." He fastened it around my neck. "These, however, you may keep." He opened the box to reveal beautiful sapphire studs. "I believe this fulfills the new and blue requirements. These are from both of us."
And for the gajillionth time today, I started crying again. "What did I do to deserve you? All of you?"
"I would prefer, what did we do to deserve you?"
There was a tap to the door. "Dad, Napoleon's back. It's time to leave."
"We'll be right there." He kissed me on the forehead and smiled. "No more crying now. Your mascara won't hold up to another onslaught."
I walked out into the vestibule of the church and took a deep breath. I knew almost everyone who sat in the pews. The people waiting for me were people I loved with all my heart, so why did I want to throw up like Alex did? I took a deep breath and looked over at the twins.
"Are you guys ready for this?"
"Do we have to throw these? They're dead. There might be bugs crawling around in them." Inessa was not a happy camper, but it was mostly because she had to wear a dress. She had pants underneath the skirt though - a necessary concession for her cooperation.
"They are rose petals and yes, you need to scatter them."
"Sounds girly to me," Peter grumbled.
"Look at it this way, Petey. The sooner you and your sister start down that aisle, the sooner we get to the reception and food."
His eyes lit up. Do I know my brother or what? He grabbed Inessa's hand and off they went.
Irina watched them and waited for my signal. There was nothing shy about her and the moment I nodded, she walked carefully down the aisle, her shoulders squared and a beautiful smile on her face as if she was the bride and I could only imagine the images in her head at the moment..
"You're next, Alex." I aimed him in the proper direction and, with a huge sigh, he followed his sister.
"And now me, I guess." I felt an arm link with mine and I smiled over at my dad, the only one I'd ever known. He was beaming like a maniac.
"You are so beautiful, Genève. Nothing like the scared little girl who Dad dragged in not that long ago."
"Love is a wonderful thing." I kissed his cheek and then wiped off the mark. "I have you and everyone to thank for that."
"It was our pleasure, but now I think someone special is waiting for you."
The music started and I felt him give me a tug as everyone turned and looked at me. Then I saw Alex beaming at me and Grampy and Poppy standing beside him, looking as if they would burst with pride. And I took a step.
"I'm so happy it's over with," I whispered into my wife's ear. It sounded funny and I laughed and that made her laugh. "How much longer do we have to stay? I want to get you alone and whoo hoo..."
Gen laughed again. I loved hearing her laugh. It was what caught my attention all those years ago. "I think they expect us to at least cut the cake. Look, Mom's dancing with Grampy... again."
"He's been dancing with everyone. I didn't know he danced so well. And I plan to dance with you for the rest of my life." I dipped her and brought her back up for a kiss, stopping when I heard everyone applauding. "Busted..."
I led her back to the head table and looked over to where Mr. K... Illya was riding herd on the kids. He had a sad, faraway look in his eye and I wasn't really sure why.
As the day had gone on, turning into night, he'd seemed to have gotten more and more somber. We were originally supposed to have the reception in the backyard, but when the weather got nasty, we decided an indoor venue was the way to go. After a couple hours of standing and posing for photos, his face with tight with pain and I'd noticed he'd started using his cane as it got later. "Gen, is that what's wrong with him tonight?"
"Poppy? He gets like that every now and again. He used to be able to dance almost as well as Grampy, but not anymore." As we approached the table, a group of women gathered around her and swooped Gen away. I slipped off my jacket, snagged a couple glasses of champagne, and walked over to where Mr.... Illya, Illya, was sitting.
"A penny for your thoughts." I offered him a glass and he smiled.
"Not worth even that much, I'm afraid." He took the glass, sipped it and set it on the table, his eyes returning to his grandchildren. "Where do they get all that energy? Youth truly is wasted on the young."
"I dunno, there aren't many people around HQ who can keep up with you most days. What's really wrong?"
"Hmm? Oh, thinking about missed opportunities, I suppose." Then he smiled. "Of course, to want more than I have now would be both greedy and superfluous. I have a good life and a loving family. Still..."
"And yet you can't help but wonder what would have happened if you'd turned left instead of right."
He nodded, emptied his glass and then set it aside as Ginny stumbled over to him. He grimaced and grunted as he lifted her onto his lap. "We all have moments in our lives when we wonder what would have happened if we'd made a different decision. However, it all boils down to we are who we are meant to be. As long as you have love, that's the key."
"M'tired, Poppy," she mumbled as she hunkered down against him, burying her face into his neck.
"I know, dushinka, we all are." He wrapped his arms around her and swayed slightly to the music, the closest he could get to dancing these days, I supposed. He murmured something into her ear and she nodded sleepily.
"Alex, could I bother you to find Napoleon for me?"
"Sure, boss, no problem."
A few minutes later, I was back with the chief. Mr. Solo, I just can't call him Napoleon, knelt down by his partner and smiled, caressing the girl's dark hair. She was fast asleep in his arms. "I think it's time to round up the kids and head home. Alex, would you be so good at to let Leon and Lisle know that we've gone... after we've gone?"
"No problem. I'll have a car outside waiting for you. Just give me five."
He nodded and stood, lifting the girl off Illya's lap. It took Illya almost a full minute for him to get to his feet, even with his cane, and he hobbled towards the other kids.
I was good as my word. I watched them come out of the hall, Mr. Solo carrying the still-sleeping Ginny and Illya prompting the rest of the kids towards the car. True to his nature, Alex had his hands shoved into his pants pockets and was grumbling that he should be allowed to stay with the adults, since, at eleven he was one. Irina was holding one of her grandfather's hands and hugging her flower girl's bouquet close to her chest. Inessa had peeled off her skirt and was half dancing/half skipping her way to the car. Petey, he, of course, had a hunk of something in his hand and was busily munching away. I wouldn't be surprised to find some of our wedding cake missing.
I took Ginny from Mr. Solo. "Are you going to be okay with this mob?"
"Illya and I are used to it." Mr. Solo waited for everyone to pile into the car, passed Ginny to her older brother and then helped Illya climb into the front seat. I half expected Illya to shake his hands away, but instead he seemed to welcome them, trusting them. I wondered if I'd ever come to rely upon anyone like that. Don't get me wrong, I love Gen, but that sort of trust, it can only come from years spent together, a shared history. I wanted that history.
"Thanks for all your help today. I wouldn't have made it through this without you." I held out my hand to Mr. Solo and then was surprised to find myself in a bear hug. The strength of the man was a little frightening. I keep seeing these men as so old and they're not, not really.
"Welcome to the family," Mr. Solo murmured. "Take good care of our granddaughter or I shall sic Peter upon you."
"No worries about that."
I stood there for a long time after the limo had sped away. I heard something and spun about, ready to do battle, but it was only Leon.
"Hold on there, Tex! You aren't leaving, are you? And if you are, aren't you forgetting someone?"
"I was just seeing Illya and Mr. Solo off with the kids."
"His name is Napoleon and you can call him that. I think calling him Dad might put his teeth on edge, but you can never tell. How was Illya holding up?"
"Just barely. His eyes were starting to glaze over."
"I figured he'd be heading home soon. It's been a tough day for him."
"Saying good bye to the first granddaughter, you mean?"
"This is the anniversary of the incident that left him crippled. Genève didn't know when she picked today and Illya forbid me to tell her. He said it would be a pleasure for this day to represent something happy and positive for a change."
"Will he be okay?"
"Illya? Yeah, he's a tough old bird. And Dad's with him. They do a good job watching out for one another. And speaking of such, you've got someone inside waiting for you."
I followed him back in, but couldn't quite shake the thoughts from my mind. What If I had turned left instead of right? Then I saw my bride and nothing else mattered. Left or right or standing still, Illya was right, as long as someone loved you, the rest of the world could, in my humble opinion, go hang itself. I had a life to live.
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